“New Boots”
September 2025
“Perhaps I’ll be nothing I thought I’d be. And perhaps that’s okay.”
I can’t speak for anyone but myself, but I have some inkling that many of us move around the world with some degree of expectation around what our lives must look like and struggle if that expectation isn’t met in a timely manner. As someone who has always set lofty expectations upon myself, I think about this a lot.
Somewhere, there lies a rich trove of buried dreams of things I said I would do, but didn’t, and probably, I never will. Or, maybe, they’re just in hibernation, who knows. Either way, this isn’t a sad thing. Most of the things that never transpired have allowed better things to do come through: surprises, relationships, opportunities that I could have never pictured. So, again, this isn’t a sad story.
However, there are times when one can feel a little stuck in the mud, and when it can be worthwhile to reach into the chest and see if there’s a small piece or two worth the effort of excavation. It may not be the life overhaul, usually it isn’t, but it’s adding in a new adventure here or there, or following up on a gut feel thread that was calling some time ago.
In my case, one of these pieces was going to ride a horse. I’m not sure why exactly, but several months ago, I started getting this little inkling, (as many of my friends were moving and traveling to new, far, and distant places), where I was just like F it if I’m going to live in the Midwest that means I gotta go ride a horse.
Of course, I talked myself out of it for a while, mainly because doing it alone was really a scary thought. I’ve ridden horses before, and feel comfortable doing so, but it was the idea of going somewhere new, alone (I knew I had to do it solo from the beginning), driving there, again, by myself, that really held me back.
But, this month, after much back and forth, I mustered up the courage to throw on a pair of boots, get in my car, drive to the country, and put myself in the saddle, quite literally.
The adventure delighted and surprised me in so many new ways. From driving up and over the rolling hills of country roads, flanked by rows, and rows, and I mean rows, of corn fields on either side; putting my windows down with some delightful jazzy girl pop playing to the wind; and most importantly, feeling confident to turn onto a dirt road in the morning sun and head out on a trail ride, years ago, I never would have imagined this life for myself.
Everything that happened that day, the sense of wonder, the courage, the adventurous spirit, would not have occurred if I’d lived in exact accordance to plan, if I had not allowed life to detour me down new roads and in other directions. There’s a fortification of character with the unknown, and continuing to face it, endure it, and embrace it.
Which, brings me back to the quote at the top: “Perhaps I’ll be nothing I thought I’d be. And perhaps that’s okay.” I wrote this in my notes over coffee on the drive up to the farm, and I feel like I was on to something. If anyone asks, I’m in the market for a new pair of boots. New paths to wander and mud to stomp through.
LISTEN TO THE NEW BOOTS PLAYLIST: