11/2025
“To Rest”
As we move and wrap towards the end of another year, I’ve been really leaning into the feeling and the activity of reflection. As someone who has a habit of careening full-throttle into the future, always asking the question of “what’s next” and chasing it unbridled, in this present moment, I’ve found myself craving a little R&R: rest and reflection.
In practice, this means going easier, not spending energy in places it’s not needed, and teaching myself to be present, to sleep in, to surrender. It’s giving myself the permission that just because I can, doesn’t mean I have to. Let me say that last part again: just because I can, doesn’t mean I have to.
It’s a mindset that stems from a broader theme and intention I’ve set. This chapter, for me, has been about cultivating stability, finding places that bring me peace, and slowing down. It’s rooting myself to new ground, so I can finally take a breather, step out from the rush, and release the constant fervor that’s ruled the vast majority of my earthly existence.
While, in this state of existence, I’m still creating, rather than pushing myself to the brink of productivity and excellence, I’ve been attempting to lean heavily on my intuition, to follow random, small sparks of interest, and to prioritize revisiting and revising past projects.
It may not all make perfect sense, or fit together perfectly, but with all of that in mind, welcome to my 2nd newsletter
CONTENTS
CREATIONS
POEMS
ADVENTURES
THE ART OF WORD MINING
STUDIES
HISTORIES
POEMS
It wouldn’t be a Phoebe piece without a new poem or two. I got inspired to write the one below as I was going up in my elevator one night, honestly just feeling a bit… bad? unsettled? discomforted?, and had a very simple thought: what if healing (i.e. evolving i.e. growing i.e. etc.) doesn’t always feel good or look good? What if it’s not this pretty perfect thing? What if it's a much subtler, more intuitive journey mixed with a bit of a mess or emotional waviness?
I decided to write that question, that idea, into a poem.
is this what healing is?
dollar store votives
burned down
to their last light
fizzy beverages
in grandpa’s hoodie
pjs at 6 at night
from sweet champagne
sticky dancefloor
4am disco
to a jewelbox home
furnished enough
romance films
overplayed
as reckless loves
color routine days
was i falsely promised
a happy ending honest
one true single moment
when the roughness
gets sloughed away
because lord only knows
how my ruggedness shows
through this clumsy quest
to find center
As I was finishing up the poem above, I looked out my window and noticed that the sun looked like the moon. I was tickled by the idea, and put it into the following:
when sun looks like the moon
when the sun looks like the moon
remember the light will shine again soon
when the moon looks like the sun
you’re probably drunk and having fun
Lastly, I pulled this one out of the archives that was just sitting in my notes. Seemed to fit nicely with this whole theme (synchronistic, one could say)…
a poem for rest
Sleeping is nice
All sugar no spice
Even when I stir
Once or twice
The lulling hum
Of the hearts soft drum
Breathes me once again to rest
Cozy in my nest
THE ART OF WORD MINING
What I realized about writing poetry, while writing poetry, is that surprise, surprise, I really like words. I’m someone who's genuinely inspired by phrases, quotes, and passages (as cliché as that may be). How they come together to create something rich, something precious, something meaningful. How words can fill you with depth, can overflow you with emotion, can transport you to another realm, a reality, a moment in time or a new frame of thinking.
Just as there are gems, fine minerals, gold, within cavernous chambers of solid rock, I’ve discovered that books, articles, passages, poems, even the ethers of the internet, are much the same way. Within large bodies of work, there are often precious, invaluable, hidden gems scattered. These small texts transcend the purpose or intention of the document as a whole. They are universal.
I’ve spent a large part of my energy this year (I’m now realizing), figuring out how I can best capture, honor, and refer back to this trove of words. How they can live with me, be guide posts, and wells of inspiration as I move through life. The simplest options have been staying up-to-date on a Pinterest board (linked at the bottom of this page) and annotating books as I read them. The most complex, the development of an iOS app that stores these messages on my phone, and sends me a notification every morning with a random quote or phrase from the collection. The one this morning was: “I vow to not let these beautiful, quiet moments go to waste!” Fitting.
As I’ve continued to collect this rich trove of text, I’ve been pulled more and more into feeling inspired to create and document small phrases of my own, maybe to be used in a poem one day, or maybe not. And, I’ve also been taken with the idea of attempting to present these in a more visual way, though I’m just not quite there yet.
All in due time!
HISTORIES
By far the least leisurely part of my past 1.75 months was the undertaking of Herodotus' Histories. We did make it. Eventually. But oh boy, oh boy, was it a pivot from my usual reading pace.
While Histories’ overarching objective is to trace the course of the Persian wars, its main feat (in my very humble opinion) is its unbelievably rich, dense descriptions of the unique cultures, societies, and personas that patterned that period of time. From a very Greek, and very Herodotus view (of course).
Because it was such an undertaking for me, and much less of a ‘book rec’ type of read, I wanted to share some standout moments that I bookmarked to refer back to (because I doubt I’ll ever read this cover to cover again. Could not say the same about the ACOTAR series).
Some standout moments:
★ “If an important decision is to be made, they discuss the question when they are drunk, and the following day the master of the house where the discussion was held submits their decision for reconsideration when they are sober. If they still approve it, it is adopted; if not, it is abandoned. Conversely, any decision they make when they are sober, is reconsidered afterwards when they are drunk.” (I.133)
★ “Archers string their bows when they wish to shoot, and unstring them after use. A bow kept always strung would break and so be useless when it was needed. It is the same with a man; anyone who was always serious and never allowed himself a fair share of relaxation and amusement, would suddenly break down. It is because I know this that I divide my time between duty and pleasure.” (II.173)
★ “One thing, I am very sure of: and that is, if all mankind agreed to meet, and everyone brought his own sufferings along with him for the purpose of exchanging them for someone else’s, there is not a man who, after taking a good look at his neighbor’s sufferings, would not be only too happy to return home with his own” (VII.152)
★ The lore of Artemisia (VII.99), the only woman naval commander in the Persian Wars in 480 B.C.
★ And, of course, “Hippocleides don’t care” (VI.130), a wild man who nakedly ‘breakdanced’ his marriage away??? WTF.
Newsletter readers, thank you for the grace and patience you give, and for being on this journey alongside me. XXX ♥️ ♥️
See you next time!
If you’d like to keep exploring…
